Monday, January 01, 2007
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Some Words of Wisdom
These were in a Christmas Card my boss received:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Words. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid speaking against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
1. Be Impeccable With Your Words. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid speaking against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Mom, Keith, Craig, Mandy and Meg
Thank you for one of the best Christmases I can remember. It was incredible.
Friday, November 10, 2006
The problem with the pro/con list...
When I really cannot make a decision to save my life (why did I write that? I hate that phrase but whatever) Carrying on ... When I am having trouble making huge life decisions I sometimes resort to a pro/con list. You know, get it all down on paper, sort it out in black and white and turn it into simple math.
That is all well and good ... but really... dont you always know what you want to do... what path you are leaning towards ... and the reason you are resorting to the list it is because you actually know you should NOT make the decision you are leaning towards because it is the wrong decision. But for some reason you are inexplicably drawn to wrong choices. So then you start skewing the list to add up in favour of the wrong choice ...
Does anyone else do this?
I am doomed to make horrible life decisions. Doomed.
Maybe I'll try a fortune teller for the life decisions I need to make over the long weekend? Geez, look I just added another decision to my list.
Happy Long weekend.
k
That is all well and good ... but really... dont you always know what you want to do... what path you are leaning towards ... and the reason you are resorting to the list it is because you actually know you should NOT make the decision you are leaning towards because it is the wrong decision. But for some reason you are inexplicably drawn to wrong choices. So then you start skewing the list to add up in favour of the wrong choice ...
Does anyone else do this?
I am doomed to make horrible life decisions. Doomed.
Maybe I'll try a fortune teller for the life decisions I need to make over the long weekend? Geez, look I just added another decision to my list.
Happy Long weekend.
k
Friday, November 03, 2006
An Entertaining Read
Running With Scissors.
You've probably seen the commercials for the movie. Annette Bening, Gwyneth Paltrow... I have a feeling I spelled that wrong... too lazy to check! Anyways, being the nerd I am, I usually prefer to read something before I see the movie... If you think your family is a little insane (aren't they all?), reading this book will make you thank your lucky stars that you have the family you have! Guaranteed to make them seem normal in comparison to this poor guy's family!
Another good read.
Little Children. I realize this is coming out as a movie now too. Kate Winslet I believe. I read it a really long time ago though and thought it was wonderful. I may have to take another peek at it before I see the movie.
You've probably seen the commercials for the movie. Annette Bening, Gwyneth Paltrow... I have a feeling I spelled that wrong... too lazy to check! Anyways, being the nerd I am, I usually prefer to read something before I see the movie... If you think your family is a little insane (aren't they all?), reading this book will make you thank your lucky stars that you have the family you have! Guaranteed to make them seem normal in comparison to this poor guy's family!
Another good read.
Little Children. I realize this is coming out as a movie now too. Kate Winslet I believe. I read it a really long time ago though and thought it was wonderful. I may have to take another peek at it before I see the movie.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
being NICE vs. being a WITCH
I keep finding myself in situations that test my niceness. It is proving to be a major flaw in my personality.
Does being 'nice' translate to other people as being vulnerable and gullible, therefore leaving myself open to all sorts of injustices and absurdities???
What makes this absolutely insufferable is how I often I think about whether or not I am being nice. As much as I may want to hang on to my pleasant persona and identity, so that I’m considered friendly and charming — IS IT WORTH IT? And can it be done keeping my pride in tact?
I read a quote or something somewhere recently that said that although it may be hard to live with the fact that one is a "witch", in the long run it saves you a lot of headache. I am feeling quite tempted to walk in these witchy footsteps and see what happens.
I just felt the prickle down my back alerting me to the peals of laughter from a few who know me and know that my personality wont allow for this change and that I'm all talk.... that makes me want to try it out all the more... =)
Does being 'nice' translate to other people as being vulnerable and gullible, therefore leaving myself open to all sorts of injustices and absurdities???
What makes this absolutely insufferable is how I often I think about whether or not I am being nice. As much as I may want to hang on to my pleasant persona and identity, so that I’m considered friendly and charming — IS IT WORTH IT? And can it be done keeping my pride in tact?
I read a quote or something somewhere recently that said that although it may be hard to live with the fact that one is a "witch", in the long run it saves you a lot of headache. I am feeling quite tempted to walk in these witchy footsteps and see what happens.
I just felt the prickle down my back alerting me to the peals of laughter from a few who know me and know that my personality wont allow for this change and that I'm all talk.... that makes me want to try it out all the more... =)
Monday, October 23, 2006
Two posts today - I thought I would share my favourite poem
This poem has lived on every fridge in every home I have had for many, many years. It is a powerful poem, it struck me in many ways and everytime I read it I feel better. I thought I'd share:
The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (A Native American Elder)
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking the fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened up by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can betray another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not a pretty day.
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't matter who you are, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
Can you?
The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (A Native American Elder)
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking the fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened up by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can betray another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not a pretty day.
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't matter who you are, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
Can you?
I Wish I Had Never Met You.
I Wish I had Never Met You. I guess that line has been hurled at as many people as have been told the lie, "I love you."
You know that ridiculously sweet song that Garth Brooks wrote - "The Dance" where he basically says that he could have missed the pain, but then he'd have had to miss the dance.
Total bullshit.
Among other things ... work and some other annoying life things ..... someone I care very much about hit me with the biggest Mack Truck they could find and then forgot to turn around and apologize. I suspect that if given a chance this person would throw it into reverse and run me over again. Just because it is possible to do so. I suspect I've become an easy target.
Why do people treat each other the way they do? I used to be this ball of fire that fought any fight that came my way. I decided years ago that that wasn't working for me and decided that I needed to make some changes. I decided that more flies with honey... or some such other crap... and I have tried to lead my life trying to be as good as possible to the people around me (sadly, i'm not always successful, lets just say I'm a work in progress). I would never want to do or say something horrible to someone I care about and then have that be the last thing that is said or done to them by me. I just wish that certain people in my life felt the same way.
Maybe its time to cut the worst offender loose? Does unconditional love only go so far?
Today I am feeling like maybe I have taken the idea of 'forgiveness' and 'unconditional love' a little too far and have not looked after myself properly. *Thanks for that lesson.* I kept thinking if you work hard, be there for the people you love, try not to judge too much, love fiercely, protect the ones you love as much as you can and forgive the people around you for their mistakes (they are only human, as you are - and you want to be forgiven for your mistakes) that not only will you be able to wake up every morning and like what you see in the mirror but that people will treat you with the same kind of respect. Um, not so much.
Today I am feeling walked on. And disappointed. And not quite sure what to do with that. *Again, thanks for that lesson.*
PS. Thank you to Mom and Mandy for taking my miserable butt out on Sunday. I needed it. Thank goodness for family that are willing to put up with a grumpy girl.
You know that ridiculously sweet song that Garth Brooks wrote - "The Dance" where he basically says that he could have missed the pain, but then he'd have had to miss the dance.
Total bullshit.
Among other things ... work and some other annoying life things ..... someone I care very much about hit me with the biggest Mack Truck they could find and then forgot to turn around and apologize. I suspect that if given a chance this person would throw it into reverse and run me over again. Just because it is possible to do so. I suspect I've become an easy target.
Why do people treat each other the way they do? I used to be this ball of fire that fought any fight that came my way. I decided years ago that that wasn't working for me and decided that I needed to make some changes. I decided that more flies with honey... or some such other crap... and I have tried to lead my life trying to be as good as possible to the people around me (sadly, i'm not always successful, lets just say I'm a work in progress). I would never want to do or say something horrible to someone I care about and then have that be the last thing that is said or done to them by me. I just wish that certain people in my life felt the same way.
Maybe its time to cut the worst offender loose? Does unconditional love only go so far?
Today I am feeling like maybe I have taken the idea of 'forgiveness' and 'unconditional love' a little too far and have not looked after myself properly. *Thanks for that lesson.* I kept thinking if you work hard, be there for the people you love, try not to judge too much, love fiercely, protect the ones you love as much as you can and forgive the people around you for their mistakes (they are only human, as you are - and you want to be forgiven for your mistakes) that not only will you be able to wake up every morning and like what you see in the mirror but that people will treat you with the same kind of respect. Um, not so much.
Today I am feeling walked on. And disappointed. And not quite sure what to do with that. *Again, thanks for that lesson.*
PS. Thank you to Mom and Mandy for taking my miserable butt out on Sunday. I needed it. Thank goodness for family that are willing to put up with a grumpy girl.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Naked Neighbour!
The door next to me clicks open Monday night... my new neighbour, Clem, is peeking his head out the door. Cute guy ladies, blond hair, devilish smile ... anyways ... half his body is hidden behind the door and the other half is out and obviously NAKED...
"Hey Neighbour". "Oh, hey Clem... thanks for cleaning the foyer, it looks awesome!... I'd come check out what you've done with the place... but um ... you dont seem to have any clothes on!" "Ok, Kell, maybe some other time."
Note: This post is intended to encourage my girlfriends to visit me more often... enticing them with man eye candy!!!! Clem is the one with the white hat.... and remember Darren? He is the one on the right in the blue shirt... really have absolutely no idea who the other guys is!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
I'm PERFECT the way I am?!?!?
So it’s the eve of my 37th Birthday! Now I’m not one of those women who worries about her age or getting older too much… Of course, I’d like everything on my body to be where it was ten years ago, but whatever. What my birthday does bring around is the question of “What has changed since last year?” Am I in a rut, have any of my goals been met? Am I happy? Do I have new goals, ideas, ambitions???? Am I a better person than I was last year at this time? Have I been more patient, have I loved my family and friends and been there for them? Lots of things pop into my head. I guess most people do this at New Years, but for me the birthday has usually spurred me into making changes. I’m going to think about this over the next few days and come up with a list. Or maybe I’ll just figure out that I am perfect the way I am! =)
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