... as alanis would say

... ironic (or is it just tragic?)

I have love in my life. I am loved. I lust. I am lusted after. I love. I am in love. And yes, I believe loving someone and being in love are two totally different things and I feel both of them, separately. The problem (and where the irony/tragedy of it all comes in) is that none of these loves, lusts, people are the same.

When you look at it on paper, it all looks good doesn't it? But when you do the math it just doesn't work out in Kelly's favour. Wouldnt it be superb if who I loved, who I am in love with, who I lust after and who lusts after me, loves me were all one in the same? It all comes down to timing I think and mine is off. Way off. =)

Could you all just get it together? Or maybe I should? Dunno. Anyways,

Rats. =)

... extra long weekend

Wasn't that rain amazing last night? I was lucky enough to be listening to it beside an open door hitting the water in the harbour. As much as I would like the summer weather to start, I would not have traded that rain last night for anything.

This is my last day of work until Wednesday. I took an extra day and am going to make it a 'me' weekend. I want to read, walk, get a little exercise and wind down. Other than Canada day celebrations and a bbq at the house on Sunday night, I am going to stay close to home and look after myself.

Nothing much to write today, I am happy, and feeling content. Hope you all have a fantastic Canada Day long weekend.

Much love,
Kelly

... kissing ...

Could you please put your hand on the back of my neck ...
pull me around and close to your face ...
close enough to smell your peppermint gum ...
long enough to look into your kind eyes ...
and to remember just how long it has been since you really kissed me ...

... good to know ...

Kelly with too much overtime + no dinner + a view of the ocean + a few too many glasses of wine + good company = kelly spilling all her secrets!

Yikes! Way to go Oilers Fan. You owe me about 1000 secrets!

... Happy Birthday Megan...

This is a pic of my daughter and her boyfriend Jordan... ah to be eighteen and in love!

Everyone send my daughter Megan some love for her eighteenth birthday!

Love you girl!

So fellow bloggers, readers, fans, loved ones and passersby... I think we should give my young baby girl some pearls of wisdom for her eighteenth... ready, set, GO!!!

.... dancing ...

Here is my daughter and me looking like goofs!

Thanks for this link Miss Marf... to see Miss Marf's dancing click here.

Click hereto make your own!

... sending nerdgirl some love ...

Hey you. You know who you are ... family, friends, fellow bloggers... you're reading this thing, I know you are... send me some love via the comments section! Anonymously if you like...

have a good day,
k

on happiness

I read an article in the Globe today called 'Are you Happy?'.

Well readers - are you?

When asked, the answer to that question for me is a genuine yes.

I like my life. I have a wonderful family, a beautiful daughter, incredible lifelong friendships, amazing new friends, a job that challenges me, and I am fairly sure I am a good human being (as I've said before - flawed, severly flawed) but a desire to be good, better ...

... indeed I have all the necessary items to be able to say that I am genuinely happy.

Does this mean that I do not have hurt in my life? Of course I do. I have anxiety and stress. I have longings that go unfulfilled. I have days where I am unsure of myself and my place in the world. Some days I do not know my purpose and if I should even have one other than enjoying my life.

And there is pain, plenty of it. These things, I am told, are a part of life.

Something I've learned along the way is that it is the moments, the single snapshots of your day/life that add up to make it a good life. My mom is a great proponent of doing what you need to do in the moment to make yourself happy.

Looking back on those crazy moments when I feel insane with hurt or am so stressed I cannot see a way out and I dont know what to do I recognize that I have the power in those moments to say to myself "What do I need right NOW to make me happy in this moment" and to take the results of that question and proactively seek out that happiness. When I dont do that for myself, I have nobody to blame but myself.

It is hard mantra to follow in certain [most? some? =))]situations and I fail miserably sometimes [often, always, never, sometimes =)))] (nice try Kel, more like OFTEN!) ... But I do recognize that I have the power in my own hands to be happy, to enjoy my life and to be in charge of making the choice to be happy. It is just that, a decision.

One of the lines in the article reads (and hits home with me):

"The state of the world is often annoying. But maybe you've been too busy channelling positive energy to notice. Freud certainly wasn't. The father of modern psychology thought that humans weren't meant to feel consistently happy, since "all the regulations of the universe run counter to it." And yet somewhere along the line we forgot Freud and embraced Tony Robbins."

it goes on to say:

"The problem with the culture of incessant happiness is that it's one of the things that drives social dissatisfaction, you're asked to take yourself as a constant self-improvement, and frankly this never ending quest is exhausting."

I'd be interested to 'hear' your opinions on this subject. Those two paragraphs hit home, then they didn't then I went back around again. Doesn't matter. What do you think??

feeling nostalgic

Today Finn wrote a post about the awesome storms in the Toronto area .... her post made me a little weepy ...

Do you miss the summer storms in Toronto as much as I do?

I wish I could jump on a plane and escape with you for a few days - would it help our weird little world make more sense or would it make it that much more confusing?

Yes, readers, I know you dont understand this post ... another one for me! =)

=(

I am not feeling quite right.

Not sure what the problem is exactly.

Wednesday night I fell asleep watching Coronation Street and when I woke up on the couch around midnight I went straight up to bed... I woke up in the morning feeling like I had not slept at all...

Last night I was still feeling tired so I just plopped down on my bed in my work clothes for a quick second and did not wake up until 7:30 this morning.

I dont feel sick. I feel exhausted. Completely and totally exhausted.

It takes all my energy to lift myself out of my chair to walk to the printer this morning.