Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentines Day Cheek

This all came to me when I was in front of the flower store watching all these guys frantically picking whatever flowers were available and basically throwing their wallets at the florists and running out the door.....

To all you women out there that are thinking "oh my gosh, he got me flowers and chocolates and rose petals on the floor, and a Celine Dion Cd, and Lingerie and a puppy, and Diamond Earings...ooooh tonight is gonna be all about meeeeeeeeee '!!! "squeak"...guesss what ??? What Chico????...if you get anything on Valentines Day it does not mean you are special at all. All it means is that the social and emotional pressure , and possible threat of physical danger has made your guy buy you something today. If he does something like this on May 18th, or some innocuous date like that then my lady you are special. Getting something today, a Hallmark holiday, means you are as special as the other 1 Billion woment that got something today. Congratulations, your guy is a conformist.

Okay now on to something completley different. Here on Valentines Day I thought I would share three of my favourite descriptions of spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends/people in general....some may have possibly been used by me....

he/she looks like

90 pounds of soggy dogshit in a 80 pound bag

the human equivalent of a visible panty line

a chimp that's been thrown into a suit and strategically shaved....

that's it... nothing to do with Valentines day....and no Bigglesworth, none of those apply to you ;-)

Ok, to wrap it up.... for all you single people out there on Valentines day...keep your chin up. dress up, go out,get drunk and have a great time. Guys..if you see women on their own tonight, please do not try to pick them up, believe me, they do not want to talk to you. They are content drinking tequila and blathering about how much men suck. Steer clear unless you want a trip to Pepper Spray Land. Other than that no rules apply, dress your pets up in Lingerie and take pictures..... Happy VD and always remember......ummmm, I forget....

peace,love and balance



I want my Kelly back ! ! ! !

... Chico made me cry.

Baffling said...

what if a guy gifts his girl everyday and tells her she's beautiful each time he meets her, and gives her a more than special gift on v day and tell her she's prettier than ever. Is he a conformist then?? Or is everything run-off-the-mill now?